


SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS

by Hatsonhamburgers



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Demon Dean, Drunk Texting, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, I plan to drown this bitch in smut, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, Rowena's Attack Dog Spell, Season/Series 11 Spoilers, Sexting, Smut, Texting, drunk!Cas, like who is the Darkness?, mostly happens after 11x4, never heard of her, so get your waders on, some angst if you squint, then pretend there is no Darkness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-14 23:35:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8033386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatsonhamburgers/pseuds/Hatsonhamburgers
Summary: Cas ventures out of the bunker while Dean and Sam are finishing up the werepire/ghoulpire case, and ends up in a gay bar.  Drunk texting to late night texting to sexting.  
OR
The one where Cas tries to be humorous through texts and emoticons and ends up having wild crazy sex with Dean.
  Chinese Translation





	1. The Crossroads

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crazyassCas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyassCas/gifts).



> Hello! 
> 
> Now the awkward business of Cas trying to make puns and be funny. 
> 
> And Dean getting vomit on his shoes.

_Saturday 8:46pm_

Cas: DEan have you tried taquil

Cas: taquiiii

Cas: the one with the worm in the bottom of the bottle :)

Dean: Cas are you drunk?

Cas: maybe ;)

Cas: the winking emoticon signifies that i may be joking

Dean: yeeeeeeaaaaaah. Where are you

Cas: I went for a walk

Cas: I met a very nice lady who took me to a bar

Dean: what??? Who is this person? Do you even know how dangerous it is to go off with strangers???

…

Dean: Cas

…

Dean: CAS!!!!????

Cas: srry Deano there were shots again. It is odd how they are more palats

Cas: palateablll

Cas: taste better. The more you you drink.

Dean: where are you? We’re on our way back into town. Text me the address

Cas: im fine deanie weenie

Cas: lol

Cas: that signifies i am laughing out loud dean

Cas: :P

Cas: i think you may not understand the subtiltie

Cas: subtiitll

Cas: nuances of emoticons

Cas: Deeeeeeeeeen

Cas: are you mad at me? : /

Dean: wtf cas I was driving. Im at the gas n sip. Wheres the bar

Cas: oh good you are not angry with me i dont like it when youre angry cuz you turn into the hulk

…

Cas: did i get that right??? Or is that what happens to the batman

Dean: CAS GET IT TOGETHER

Dean: ASK THE BARTENDER WHERE YOU ARE

…

Cas: i am at the crossroads

Dean: omg CAs??? Do not sign anything or kiss anyone do you hear me???

Cas: cant hear you its very loud 

Cas: lol

Cas: i was again laughujmg

Cas: laughing out loud. No one has tried to kisss me yet thoug

Dean: Cas I know its been hard to be stuck in the bunker while me and Sammy are on the road but please dont make a demon deal

Cas: no the bar crossroads. The one wioth the rainbow fl;ag on the door?

Dean: the gay bar

Cas: How do you catch a gay squirrel?

…

Cas: Dean

Cas: I asked you a questiopm

Cas: how do you catch a gay sqyirrel

Dean: Cas Im pretty sure you can’t do that

Cas: the answer is: climb a tree and ptretnd to be an almond. 

…

Cas: Botanically speaking, almonds are fruits

Cas: I do not think I understand the joke

Cas: but i cannot seem to stop laughing

Cas: lol

Cas: Dean. where are you. I want to buy yuo a shot

_Incoming Call_

_Missed Call: Dean_

Cas: too loud in here. Everyone is very happy. Very comfortabke in themselves dean

Cas: i would like to be comforta;ble with myself dean 

Cas: i miss you

Cas: and sam too

Cas: but not as miuch as i miss you daen

Cas: Dean?

Dean: Cas! Chill the fuck out- I was driving!

Cas: oh no Dean you cannot text and drivw that is veeyr dangerous

Dean: so is drunk texting

Cas: I do not understamd that refedence

Cas: reference

Cas: see whate I did there? Because i said that that one time

Cas: that that 

Cas: am i funny dean?

Dean: sure Cas, maybe not on purpose but you sure are funny

Cas: ur funny dean

Cas: funny looking lolololol

Cas: it was a joke dean. I dont measn that dean i actually think you aer veery attractive

Dean: um thank you? Cas I just dropped off Sam at the bunker. Please dont go home with anyone. Im on my way

Cas: can i go hime whith yoju deeeeeennnnn

Cas: Dean. you musrt have a shot with my nrw friensd and i. I wont leave until yuo do

…

Cas: my new friekmd wants to know if youj ar3e a bottom or a tip

Cas: top

Cas: im not srue what that means but im sure yuo can esplain it to me. 

Cas: now you have to conme in becuz the bartenderetg says icamnmot buy more alcoholois bevrgs

Cas: buy me shovts dean

….  
_Sunday 10:23am_

Cas: Dean.

Cas: I fear that I may have become incapacitated last night at some point. I apologize for having bothered you while on a hunt. I hope that you can forgive me. 

Cas: Also, I am very sorry about throwing up on your shoes.

Cas: And trying to steal your keys. In hindsight, I can now see why my driving Baby while intoxicated was a bad idea. I am very sorry.

Cas: Tell Baby I am sorry as well.

…

Dean: It’s ok Cas, I’ve had a tequila night or two. And you didn’t get my keys, so Baby forgives you too.

Cas: Dean, are you able to forgive me enough to perhaps bring me some water? And maybe an aspirin? I can’t seem to be able to leave my bed at this time. Standing is not an option. 

Dean: lol sure cas I’ll be there in a minute. You hungry?

Cas: I’m not sure I could keep anything down at this point. This feels almost as bad being killed slowly by stolen grace. 

Dean: Let me bring you water and then I’ll make you some greasy hangover food.

Cas: Thanks Dean.

Cas: Dean? 

Dean: Yeah Cas

Cas: I seem to be missing a large portion of time between when we left the bar and when I woke up in my bed. Please tell me I was on my “best behavior.”

Dean: don’t use quotes

Cas: I was attempting humor again, Dean : /

Dean: Just hang on I’ll bring you the water.

……

_Sunday 10:35pm_

Cas: Dean I want to apologize again.

Dean: What for? Why don’t you come to the kitchen to talk

Cas: As I am rather embarrassed at the moment, I would rather text. If that’s okay

Dean: Sure, whatever is fine

Cas: I just read my texts to you last night

…

Cas: Dean

Dean: Yeah Cas.

Cas: I may have been inappropriate. I was inebriated and may have been too forward. I apologize. 

…

Dean: Its cool dont worry about it man

Cas: I fear that I may have crossed your boundaries as a heterosexual male. I will refrain for imbibing alcohol from now on. 

Dean: Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad :)

Cas: I googled “bottom” and “top” as it pertains to homosexual culture. 

…

Dean: I see.

Cas: I want you to know that I told my new friend that you were a bottom because I did not know what that meant and I wanted to be able to have an answer for her. I feel that I may have slandered you name, and for that I am sorry. 

Dean: Jesus Cas!

Cas: I know Dean I’m sorry :(

Dean: It’s okay, just lets not ever talk about this ever again. Ok?

Cas: I understand.

Cas: Dean?

Dean: what now

Cas: For the record, I do think you are very attractive. You are an ideal specimen of a human being. Physically you are quite nearly perfect. 

…

Cas: I realize I should not have said that.

Dean: what the hell am i even supposed to do with that 

Cas: Nothing. Nevermind, forget it. 

Dean: no worries, man. And thanks i guess

Cas: Okay Dean I’m going to try and sleep now.

…  
_Monday 2:44am_

Cas: Dean are you awake?

…

Dean: Whats up cas? You ok?

Cas: I had a nightmare. I wanted to make sure you were still here.

Dean: Im right here

Dean: what was the dream about

Cas: Its nothing. I’m okay now you can go back to sleep.

Dean: It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Cas. I’ve had a ton of nightmares. Used to have a lot about hell. 

Dean: i havent had those in a while. But I still dream about being a demon sometimes. Its pretty bad

Cas: That’s terrible Dean

Dean: so what do you dream about?

Cas: This one was about you being a demon too

Dean: oh

Cas: Look, it’s okay we can talk tomorrow. 

Dean: No, Cas we can talk about it now 

Dean: I dont know how I’m ever going to make up for what I did to you

Cas: That is not necessary, Dean. I forgave you for that when it happened. It wasn’t you Dean. 

Dean: I know, but I still think about it. It’s fucked up man

Cas: Yeah. I still think about the attack dog spell. And what I did to you in the warehouse. Why didn’t you let me heal you, Dean? 

Dean: I don’t know.

Cas: You didn’t deserve that, Dean.

…

Cas: You don’t deserve it. You are worth more than that. 

…

Cas: Dean?

Dean: Yeah Cas

Cas: Can I text you if I have another bad dream? It is very disorienting to dream. I am still not used to it. 

Dean: Of course. Sleep well

Cas: You too.


	2. Getting in Dean Winchester's Pants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New information about Cas and yoga positions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a big ole fat lead-in to some smut and I swear I won't let you down. I may be a tease, but I always put out eventually. ;)

_Monday 1:17pm_

_Missed Call: Sam_

_Monday 2:30pm_

Sam: Cas where are you?

Cas: Oh I’m sorry, Sam, I see now that I missed a call from you. I am in the woods behind the bunker. It is quite nice, I enjoy walking here.

Sam: Ok cool. Just making sure you’re ok.

Cas: Of course, why wouldn’t be?

Sam: Well, after Saturday night…

…

Cas: Is there more to that statement? I fear the rest may have not come through.

Sam: Sorry, nevermind. I just meant you seemed really out of it. Yesterday too. 

Cas: Yes, I was very intoxicated. Are you familiar with tequila?

Sam: lol unfortunately, yes. I think everyone in college has a tequila story.

Cas: Yes, I can see why. 

Cas: I met a lovely woman in the park Saturday evening, and she took me to a very nice establishment. There were many nice people there. I would like to go back.

Sam: Yeah Dean mentioned that much. He said he met your friend? What’s her name? 

Cas: Jenny. She is very intelligent and funny. I like her a lot. She explained how she had been born with male genitalia and how my Father intended for her to be female. I explained to her that my Father would be very happy that she was able to figure it out and be herself. 

Sam: Oh! Jenny is transgender. Cool :)

Cas: Yes, I enjoyed her company very much. I intend to meet her tonight at the bar again. You are welcome to join us. I believe you would have a fun time. There is a show? Jenny explained that it would be “fabulous.” 

Sam: lol I bet it’s a drag show, and yeah I’d love to come! Sounds fun. 

Sam: Did you invite Dean?

Cas: I’m not sure that Dean would enjoy it. 

Sam: Why do you say that?

Cas: He was clearly irate and uncomfortable when he last was there.

Sam: Oh really

Sam: …

Cas: I’m guessing the dots are a prompt for me to continue? Or that you are waiting?

Sam: Now you’re getting it! :D

Cas: Thank you, Sam. I always appreciate the help with interpreting popular culture.

Cas: I think Dean may have been uncomfortable because I may have told Jenny that Dean was a “bottom.” I did not know what that meant at the time. She may have brought it up in conversation while he was trying to help me out of the club. The floor was very uneven.

Sam: oh no lol

Cas: It’s funny, Dean was very concerned that I may have kissed someone. I assured him that I would remember if I had kissed someone, and that I am not innocent in the ways of human sexuality. 

Sam: oh no

Cas: He became angry and his face turned red. Jenny asked if Dean had “popped my cherry?” 

Sam: oh 

Cas: That is why I don’t think he would like to go back. 

Sam: Cas. I’m not sure

…

Sam: sorry- Dean just came through asking where you are. I told him, was that okay?

Cas: Of course, Sam. I feel I owe it to Dean to let him know where I am. I feel he may think I will abandon him. 

Sam: Did he say that?

Cas: Not exactly. He did say he needed me and to not go flying off to Heaven and leave him behind. That he felt like part of him leaves when I leave.

Sam: ?!?!?!

Sam: This was Saturday??????

Cas: No this was last week before the two of you went on the hunt with the werepire.

Cas: Though he had imbibed several whisky drinks.

Sam: holy shit

Cas: There is nothing holy about excrement, Sam.

Sam: I just meant I was surprised. 

Cas: I believe I was trying to make a joke. I may have not communicated it well. Jenny is teaching me the ways of “snark.”

Sam: Whatever, cool. But Dean really said that???

Cas: Yes.

Cas: I feel the same way. I am sure it because of our bond, but Jenny thinks it is something else. And that may make Dean uncomfortable because he is heterosexual, and Jenny implied that he and I were involved sexually. 

Sam: OMG

Cas: I haven’t been God since before I was Emmanuel.

Sam: Good one Cas

Cas: Thank you, Sam! I did it right that time, it would seem.

Sam: Cas I don’t think that’s why Dean 

….

Sam: Okay so Dean is sitting near me so I’m going to have to make this short.

Sam: If Dean doesn’t want to go, it’s because he gets jealous.

Cas: I don’t understand.

Sam: You should have seen how he was when you got stabbed by the reaper.

Cas: I still don’t understand.

Sam: Because you and she…

Cas: …

Cas: Sam, the dots.

Sam: Okay sorry, I thought you would use context clues.

Cas: …

Sam: …

Cas: Because I had sexual relations with the reaper known as April?

Cas: But that doesn’t make sense. Dean has had plenty of opportunities to have sexual relations with me.

…

Sam: I am about to have a stroke

Cas: Do you need some assistance?

…

Cas: Sam?

Sam: No it’s okay. Dean just had asked me why I was coughing and left the room. When could you and Dean have had sex????

Cas: Multiple occasions. We have spent many nights in hotels together, and from what I understand, that is a common place to engage in sexual congress.

Sam: Don’t say sexual congress, Cas. Too political.

Cas: lol I get the joke. Because the US Congress is political in nature and many of the participants are involved in inappropriate sexual acts. 

Sam: Yeah. But back to the sex with my brother stuf

Sam: omg I can’t believe this is what we’re talking about

Sam: Do you want to have um relations with my brother?

Cas: Of course, Sam. I am quite physically attracted to him.

Sam: Since when???????

Cas: I believe since I put him back together. I have seen every molecule of Dean and placed every one exactly where it should be. I made him whole. 

Sam: I feel like vomitting that’s so romantic

Cas: Do you think?

Sam: I’m almost positive Dean will kill me for this

Sam: But I think he might feel the same way you do. 

Cas: ...

Sam: He’s never said as much, but both of you guys have been eye-fucking for years. As someone who has to stand around and watch that shit, I don’t say that lightly.

Cas: I do not understand why he has not said anything. He could have had me whenever he wanted to. 

Sam: omg

Sam: this is huge

Sam: You need to invite him to the bar tonight and get him drunk, Cas. 

Cas: I am not sure that is wise, Sam.

Sam: Nothing about your relationship with Dean is wise.

Sam: Just do it. I’ll come too and play your wingman. 

Cas: Wingman? 

Sam: Yeah, that’s where I try and help you hook up with someone

Cas: In this instance that would be your brother?

Sam: Please don’t say it like that, this is weird enough

Cas: I am suddenly feeling very nervous about this, Sam.

Cas: What do I need to wear? I feel this circumstance calls for different costuming.

Sam: Do you want to meet me in your room and help you pick something out?

Cas: Yes. Thank you Sam.

Sam: No problem.

_Monday 4:15pm_

Cas: Dean, would you like to join Sam and I at the Crossroads tonight? 

Dean: Why?

Cas: Because I invited you?

Dean: I mean why are we going there?

Cas: I see. You are still uncomfortable with the homosexual community.

Dean: No that’s not it. Not at all. I just…

Cas: This is where I should use context clues to decipher your dots. I have to admit, I cannot figure this out. 

Dean: Are you going to meet Jenny?

Cas: Yes. I enjoy her company.

Dean: I’ll bet

Cas: What is that supposed to mean?

Dean: I mean, she was kind of all over you the other night. I just don’t want you to get taken advantage of

Cas: By “all over” do mean when she had support my weight because I could not stand on my own? I assure you, Dean, I will not participate in drinking any tequila tonight.

Dean: Oh ok

Cas: I enjoy your company too, Dean. I just thought you might come because we have not spent much time together recently. With exception to carrying my “drunk ass” home. :p

Dean: sure

Cas: …

Cas: If you do not want to accompany me tonight, I understand. 

Dean: I meant sure I’ll go with you if it means that much to you

Cas: Excellent. Sam helped me pick out something to wear.

Dean: seriously?

Cas: Yes. I think I “clean up nicely,” as you would say.

Dean: Let me be the judge of that.

Cas: Was that a flirtation?

Dean: No

Dean: I mean 

Dean: when are we leaving?

Cas: 9 o’clock.

Dean: K

_Monday 10:01pm_

Dean: wtf is Cas wearing??? Did you pick that out for him???

Sam: Yeah why? I think he looks nice.

Dean: I guess so, since every guy in the place is staring at his ass

Sam: Does that include you?

Dean: shut up Sammy

Sam: lol jk

Sam: I think he looks nice in black. Almost like a regular human

Dean: He is a regular human. Except he’s an angel. Whatever

Sam: Order me a cosmo while you’re up there

Dean: Get your own fru fru drinks

Sam: fuck you get me a cosmo. Get a shot for Cas too, he looks nervous. This is his first drag show

Sam: Hurry up its starting

Sam: you are missing Brittney Spears

Dean: I have never had my order taken so fast. Usually I have to wait.

Sam: Is the bartender a dude?

Dean: yeah 

Sam: Cas isn’t the only ass getting stared at in here

Dean: I’m cutting you off

Dean: See what Jenny wants

Sam: So we like Jenny now? She wants a cosmo too

Dean: Yeah of course we like her. She’s nice and she likes Led Zeppelin. 

Sam: Hurry up, she said the Moulin Rouge act is next

Dean: omw

 

_Tuesday 2:10am_

Jenny: omg Cas, he just checked out your ass as you left the table!!!!

Cas: Really? Interesting. Perhaps he was just looking in that direction.

Jenny: *eyeroll* look sweetie, he is into you. Just kiss him. Or fuck him in the bathroom. Whatever, just make something happen. Imma take a stab at big n tall here. 

Cas: lol Sam seems to like you very much.

Jenny: Hey don’t try and change the subject, of course Dean was checking out the goods. Have you seen the pants you’re wearing???? And the shirt that’s two sizes too small????

Cas: It’s not that tight. It’s actually very comfortable. 

Cas: The line to the bathroom is very long. 

Cas: I hate the seemingly constant urge to urinate.

Jenny: You might want to get your prostate checked

Jenny: By Dean

Jenny: See what I did there

Cas: Very amusing. Though I thought we decided that Dean was the bottom. I would, however be open to it

Cas: See what I did there?

Jenny: lmfao you are killing me I’m dying and Sam and Dean are staring at me

Jenny: Send Dean a dick pic when you get in the bathroom

Cas: Jenny, I have not had nearly enough alcohol for that to happen

Cas: I still am unsure that he would feel about me that way

Jenny: Dean just asked Sam where he got the jeans you’re wearing

Jenny: omg Sam said they were Dean’s old jeans and you had finally got into his pants holy shit I’m DYING

Cas: What did Dean say???

Jenny: He’s all red in the face and sputtering. We have a winner

Cas: I hardly see that as a win

Jenny: He didn’t deny it

Cas: oh

Jenny: seriously dick pic I wanna see his face

Cas: Buy another round and I’ll think about it ;)

Jenny: You’re on

 

_Tuesday 2:40am_

Dean: Caaaaaaqssssss

Cas: Hello, Deeeeeeennnnn

Dean: wyd?

Cas: …

Dean: ;)

Cas: Dean you’re right across the table from me.

Dean: I kno but it’s loud ;)

Cas: Are you drunk?

Dean: Not any more than you

Cas: But I have grace, Dean

Dean: I’ll say

Dean: I like your pants

Cas: Do you mean YOUR pants Dean ;)

Dean: well you look better in my pants

Dean: than I do I mean 

Cas: Thank you. That is very nice.

Dean: they make your butt look nice

Dean: I mean

Dean: It just looks nice ok?

Cas: Thank you. I work out.

Dean: lol whatevr no you don’t

Cas: I have been doing yoga recently. I am very flexible.

Dean: Is that so

Cas: Yes. I am able to hold a crane position for 15 minutes

Dean: anything else you can do? ;p

Cas: Are you being suggestive?

Dean: Maybe ;)

Cas: Well there is this one thing…

Dean: ?

…

Dean: Caaaaaaaaaassssss

Cas: Dean.

Dean: Come one don’t leave me hanging, what other bendy stuff can you do? Like is it really bad like can you get your dick in your mouth lol

Cas: …

Dean: OH MY GOD WHAT THDEGBHN

Dean: youre fuckin with me

Dean: How can you evenm

…

Cas: Are you okay, Dean? Your face is very red. Are you feeling feverish?

Dean: tell me you were joking

Dean: you gotta show me how to do that sometime

Dean: but then id never leave my room amiright? lol

Cas: I am going to the restroom and then I will buy another round.

Dean: Im gonna need shots after that

…

…

_Photo sent_

Dean: Jesus fucking chjrist did yuo just send me a pic of your dick?????

…

Cas: I may have misjudged the situation…

…

Dean: are you at the bar yet

Cas: I am waiting there, yes.

Dean: more shots

Cas: Of course, Dean.

_Tuesday 2:45am_

Cas: I just sent Dean a photo of my penis. What do I do now?

Jenny: ????? XD

Cas: THat is not helping

Jenny: Well that explains why he’s shifting around in his chair

Cas: This is a good thing?

Jenny: Angel baby, I don’t have that good a view but that boy could hammer nails right now

Cas: I am quite confident in his carpentry skills

Jenny: Did you just make a sex joke?

Cas: ;)

Cas: I’m getting a round, it appears to be last call.

Jenny: Sam says he thinks Dean’s in love with you

Cas: Jenny that’s not funny.

Jenny: That’s good because I’m not joking. He just said it to Dean just now

Cas: This is not information I need to have right after sending a picture to Dean of my genitalia.

Jenny: Buy the booze and hurry back. He’s looking nervous like he might bolt

Jenny: shit there he goes

Jenny: fuck hurry 

Jenny: text me later

…

Jenny: Sam says don’t wait up for him lol ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I only had a dick pic of Castiel's. I wouldn't need food or air.
> 
> If you want to see an amazing feat of humanity that is Misha showing how he can suck his own dick on _Nip/Tuck,_ click tha dick [B====D~](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQZC7sNwbUk)


	3. Oops My Finger Slipped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's kink is the way Cas speaks when he's about to smite someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo-boy, anyone order some smut?
> 
> You're welcome.

_Tuesday 3:04am_

_Missed Call: Cas_

_Missed Call: Cas_

_Missed Call: Cas_

Cas: Dean, why won’t you answer your phone?

…

Cas: I am very concerned because of your level of intoxication.

Cas: Dean, I see the Impala is here, where are you?

Dean: Baby

Cas: I’m sorry, what?

Dean: not the impala- her namne is BAABY

Dean: Baby

Cas: I apologize. 

Cas: I also want to apologize for being inappropriate again.

…

Cas: Dean, are you alright?

Dean: Dont you get tired of that?

Cas: Of what?

Dean: apologizing. Asking if Im ok. Stop it

Cas: Oh. I am sorry. I just want to make sure you are safe and then I shall leave you alone.

Dean: Thats not what i mean

Dean: I mean you shouldnt habve to say your sorry all the time. We should justg be ok

Cas: Oh. Did you take a taxi back to the bunker?

Dean: Yeah. I didnt want to drive. Can you or Sam drive her back? If not too drunk

Cas: I think Sam has plans to stay in town tonight.

Dean: Really? Lol good for him

Cas: Yes, Jenny really seems to like him.

Dean: I’m back at the bunker. You have enough mojo to fly back or drive?

Cas: Actually, I am in a taxi already.

Dean: Oh.

Cas: Are you staying up?

…

Dean: I should probably go to bed. 

Cas: Oh. 

Cas: Goodnight, Dean.

Dean: night Cas

Dean: thanks for a fun night. Sorry i was being a dick and left

Cas: I don’t think you were being a dick. 

…

Cas: Dean?

…

 

Dean: Cas? You awake?

…

Cas: is everuything okay

Dean: yeah

Dean: I just can’t sleep

Cas: Oh. Do you want me to bring you anything to help you sleep?

Dean: maybe ;)

…

Cas: I’m not sure what you mean.

Dean: well…

Cas: I don’t have enough context clues to understand the dots. Tell me what you want and I will give it to you.

Dean: Jesus Cas

Dean: sometimes I can’t tell when youre fucking with me

Cas: I think you’d be able to tell

Cas: If I was fucking with you.

Dean: ok what

Cas: What I mean is, you would be very certain if there was any fucking occurring. 

Dean: holy shit

Dean: ok so

Dean: why did you send me a pic of your dick

Cas: I just thought you might want to see one of the reasons why I am able to achieve autofellatio during a yoga pose. 

Dean: Oh my god you cant just say things like that

Cas: I can’t promise I won’t do it again. I think I rather enjoy your reactions, Dean.

Dean: yeah i got some serious reaction happening here

Cas: Are you inferring that you have an erection?

Dean: you texting me like that are why I have an erection

Dean: its hot

Dean: when you use big words and talk 

Dean: like you talk when you are about to smite the fuck out of someone

Cas: I see. You enjoy when I communicate succinctly when enacting passionate vengeance on my foes. I can see why that may excite you sexually. 

Dean: omg stop that 

Cas: ;)

Dean: you’re doing that on purpose!!!!!

Cas: Perhaps I will need to see proof of my efforts.

Dean: are you asking for me to send you a pic now???

Cas: Did I do that correctly?

Dean: jfc yeah hold on

…

_Photo sent_

Cas: well

Cas: It’s been a while

Dean: ?

Cas: I have already seen your genitalia. It has just been a while.

Dean: Have you been spying on me???

Cas: sort of…

Dean: I’m going to need you to explain 

Cas: This may upset you.

Dean: Try me

Cas: Sometimes, before the fall, I would check on you. Sometimes I would fly into your room and you would be pleasuring yourself. Quite enthusiastically. 

Dean: oh my god

Cas: Are you upset with me?

Dean: no not at all keep talking

Cas: About pleasuring yourself? Or about me watching?

Dean: both

Cas: Are you touching yourself now, Dean?

Dean: yes

Cas: I’m not sure if I saw you pleasuring yourself that I would be able to just watch.

Cas: Do you have lubrication, Dean?

Dean: yeah tell me what to do

Cas: Have you ever penetrated yourself, Dean?

Dean: maybe

Cas: I want you to do this now. I want you to put lube on your fingers and penetrate yourself anally. 

Dean: I’m going to have to put the phone down

Cas: Just place it where you can read my messages.

Dean: ok

Cas: Pour lube over your fingers, just two of them. Spread your legs with your knees up. I want you to press lightly on your anal opening, just gentle pressure, circling with your fingers. Don’t push in, just lightly massage the area. 

Cas: I want you to imagine it’s my fingers on you.

Cas: My fingers running over your entrance, pushing lightly. Stroke your penis, Dean.

Cas: I’m taking my finger and pushing it in.

Cas: I’m going slowly, and letting you get used to the pressure. I’m pushing it slowly in, pulling out slightly, before pushing in further.

Cas: I’m twisting slightly, then I push it in up to the second knuckle, pumping in and out.

Cas: I think you’re ready for a second finger, Dean.

Cas: I’m pulling the first almost all the way out, and adding a second. It might burn at first, the stretch. But it will turn to pleasure. I know it will.

Cas: I know because I am doing the same to myself.

Cas: Dean, now I’m going to lower my head until my lips are hovering over the head of your thick and long cock. I hope I can get it all in my mouth. I want to feel the head nudge the back of my throat, I want to feel my jaw ache from the stretch.

Cas: I’m diving in, pumping my fingers in and out of you while thrusting my mouth down on you, and sucking hard as I pull off. I

Cas: fuck dean, yuor cock feels so good in my mouth, so hard

Cas: come for me now Dean

…

…

 

Cas: There’s a good boy. Let me show you what you did to me.

_Photo sent_

Dean: Jesus fucking christ Cas

Cas: Did you enjoy yourself, Dean?

…

Dean: You made a huge mess of me

Cas: I am going to require proof of that.

_Photo sent_

Cas: Oh Dean, is it strange that I want to lick you clean?

Dean: Fuck

Dean: I’ve been wanting this a long time

Cas: So have I.

Cas: Will you be able to sleep now?

Dean: Im not sure ill be able to wake up for the next few days

Dean: Cas?

Cas: Yes, Dean?

Dean: Can we do that again sometime?

Cas: I’d like that very much.

Cas: Goodnight, Dean.

Dean: Um thanks. 

Dean: night Cas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a few more drabbley bits, then I'll have an epilogue in actual smut-filled paragraph form. They gotta bang it out at some point, amiright?


	4. I Wanna Ride You Like Apollo's Chariot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is so done with Dean's shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come for the angst, stay for the fluff

_Tuesday 12:16pm_

Jenny: Cas, you awake?

Cas: Hello, Jenny. Did you have a nice time with Sam ;)

Jenny: Actually he was a perfect gentleman.

Cas: Is that a good thing?

Jenny: Yes and no

Jenny: I was hoping to climb that mountain so HE could plant that flag, but no such luck. 

Cas: I’m sorry.

Jenny: Don’t be! He wants to take me out tomorrow night!!! Like a real date :D

Cas: That’s wonderful, Jenny! He is a very good man. I was unsure of him when we met, because of the demon blood and whatnot, but he turned out to be one of the kindest most genuine humans I have met on this planet.

Jenny: Okay wow, I already like him, you don’t have to build him up to me

Cas: I am simply being truthful. You will see what I mean soon enough :)

Jenny: Demon blood, huh?

Cas: It’s not his fault. He was destined to be Lucifer’s vessel for the Apocalypse. 

Cas: Well, that first Apocalypse. 

Jenny: Cas, baby, you have some interesting friends lol

Cas: I do enjoy the company I keep :)

Jenny: I’ll take that as a compliment.

Cas: lol

Jenny: Our fathers would be proud, right?

Jenny: Mine never meant for me to lead a life like his- and I’m beyond glad to be a social worker- but I’m also glad him being a hunter prepared me for the real world.

Cas: He is proud, I assure you. He raised you well.

Jenny: Stop it, it’s too early in the day to mess up my mascara.

Jenny: Ok so I just looked in the mirror and it’s already halfway down my face. How much did I even drink last night?

Cas: I’m not sure, but I did leave before you.

Jenny: OMG what happened with Dean????? Did he have a big gay crisis?

Cas: Actually, no, he may have made peace with it as we had sexual relations last night.

Jenny: ALSFDJDKJDKUBHJSLJHKUTC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…

Cas: Are you alright, Jenny?

Jenny: The question is: are YOU alright Cas? I have so many questions I can’t even

Cas: It was quite nice really.

Jenny: The evens I cannot right now

Cas: It was very stimulating for both of us.

Jenny: The evens are vast and infinite

Jenny: Were we right????? Is he a bottom????

Cas: I am still unsure as we have not had sexual intercourse yet.

Jenny: …

Jenny: let me clarify: wait what

Cas: lol we had mutual orgasms through text messages.

Jenny: You sexted

Cas: I believe so.

Jenny: DYING brb

…

Jenny: I think I may have made Sam vomit

Cas: Is he at your apartment? I thought nothing happened.

Jenny: Like I said, perfect gentleman. Slept on the couch. I’m going to make him eggs and send him home.

Jenny: SEXTING?????

Cas: ;D

Cas: He seemed to enjoy it a great deal.

Jenny: Have you seen him today yet?

Cas: No, he is still asleep. I will make him some eggs as well :0)

Jenny: Hm.

Cas: Does that stand for something?

Jenny: No, it was me humming. I’m pondering. 

Cas: Oh.

Jenny: He might be gun-shy in the light of day. Don’t be surprised if he acts funny.

Cas: Like how funny?

Jenny: Like he pretends it never happened. Believe me, I have been on the wrong end of that, and it can be painful. 

Cas: I am sorry someone has treated you so poorly. I don’t think Sam Winchester would ever do that to you. 

Jenny: Let’s hope so :) 

Cas: I think I hear him moving around. I’ll text you later, okay? <3<3<3

Jenny: <3

 

_Tuesday 2:43pm_

Cas: It went as you said it would go.

…

Jenny: Oh, angel baby, I’m sorry. Give him time, I’m sure he’ll come around.

Cas: Honestly, Jenny, I am exhausted over waiting for Dean Assbutt Winchester to “come around.” 8 years. I have waited 8 years.

Jenny: What

Cas: Granted, a few things happened that might have slowed the progress of our relationship, but for the most part, I have been waiting. I am tired of waiting. 

Jenny: What are you going to do?

Cas: Idk

Cas: I see it as I have two options: either I completely give up hope of Dean admitting his feelings for me and move on. And I mean move on, as in “move out of the bunker and find a place of my own” move on.

Jenny: Or?

Cas: Or “get up in his business” as you might say.

Jenny: What exactly does that mean

Cas: I admittedly have no idea. I would like to confront him in neutral territory so he does not feel threatened, but I also would like to pounce on him and ride him like Apollo’s chariot across the sky

Jenny: day-um thats hot, do that second thing

Jenny: Like you have wings you should do that. And tell me about it. Fucking make a video plz

Cas: lol I don’t know that Dean would allow me to record our lovemaking

Jenny: Ew, no. Don’t call it that. 

Cas: Besides, I am unsure if my wings are regenerated enough to transport myself, let alone Dean. I am still technically “grounded.” I was being colorful.

Jenny: Yeah but how hot would that be

Cas: I know there is a pun about Apollo and the sun being hot, but I am too upset at Dean to formulate it.

Jenny: lol

…

Cas: He just got in the shower. What should I do?

Jenny: Cas, baby, I would like nothing more than to make the decision for you, but you know ultimately it’s up to you. 

Cas: As I am beginning to recognize, you are once again correct. I find it to be both endearing and frustrating. It is an interesting quality.

Jenny: Imma go ahead and take that as a compliment ;p

Cas: I will ttyl, Jenny <3 <3<3 ily

Jenny: ily 2

…

_Tuesday 8:33pm_

Sam: wtf is wrong with Dean?

Sam: Did he say anything to you? 

Cas: I’m afraid his attitude may be directly related to my actions.

Sam: Do I even want to know?

Cas: I’m not sure. It involves emotions.

Sam: I can handle emotions.

Cas: This is true, perhaps it is just your brother who is adverse to emotional conversations.

Sam: That’s an understatement.

Sam: Cas, you gotta understand that Dean doesn’t do well with confrontation, sexual orientation, or feelings. That’s the literal trifecta of terror for Dean. 

Cas: …

Sam: Let me guess

Sam: you cornered him and demanded he discuss his feels for you.

Cas: I may have made a grievous error. 

Sam: Again, an understatement. You need to talk to him.

Cas: He made it clear he didn’t want to see me.

Sam: Okay, I can’t believe I even know this

Sam: but didn’t he seem to react to you easier through text messages?

Cas: I assume Jenny told you about my “sexting” Dean.

Sam: Okay if you want my help, you are NEVer allowed to say that again

Cas: Apologies

Sam: Just text him. See if he’s calmed down. Reach out, but wait for him to come to you after that. He will, just give him time to brood. I know my brother better than I know myself.

Cas: I believe it.

Sam: Jenny said it’s very co dependent. She would know, I guess, she has a masters in psychology

Cas: You really like her don’t you?

Sam: I do :)

Cas: That’s really great Sam.

Sam: Did you know that in her spare time she has been writing an Enochian to English dictionary??? She was excited to see my notes. Her library in her apartment is really extensive considering the room she has. Some rare volumes on Japanese lore- very cool. I’m going to see if it’s ok for her to come here.

Cas: I’m sure Dean will agree that she should definitely see the bunker. 

Sam: Give Dean some time. He’ll come around.

Cas: UGH that’s what Jenny said.

Sam: Smart lady ;)

Cas: Indeed.

 

_Tuesday 10:15pm_

Sam: Hey where are you

Dean: firing range

Sam: lol 

Dean: the fuck is so funny

Sam: Nothing. You’re just doing the most manly thing possible.

Dean: what do you want sam Im busy

Sam: Wtf happened with Cas?

Dean: nothing

Sam: Dean, I know you two were arguing. 

Dean: Just leave it Sam. I’m only going to tell you once

Sam: Ok, sorry. 

Sam: Did you eat already? I could eat.

Sam: you know what would be awesome?

…

Dean: ?

Sam: Burgers from that place on Main? With sweet potato fries. And that spicy ketchup

Dean: Fuck you

Sam: lolololol

Dean: I wasn’t hungry before you ass

Sam: I’m just saying- I could have Jenny bring us some burgers by if you want but I have to call her now- they stop cooking at 11

Dean: You just want an excuse to see her 

Sam: Yup

Dean: You nerds will be very happy together

Sam: Thanks Dean. 

Dean: I bet she plans your wedding like Becky when she sees the archive room

Sam: I don’t even know why I tell you things

Dean: i bet she’s a better shot than you- you know who her dad was, right?

Sam: jerk

Dean: bitch

Dean: Tell your future wife I want bacon and grilled mushrooms and onions on mine

Sam: shut your face

Dean: lol

Dean: Get Cas the same as me, but he likes the curly fries instead. And no pickles. And a root beer. 

Sam: That it? Maybe you want to order his dessert too?

Dean: Shut up Sam I know what he likes

Sam: I bet you do

…

Dean: I’m disowning you if there’s no pie

Sam: k

 

_Wednesday 12:45am_

Jenny: Cas thank you so much for introducing me to Sam. I am having the most incredible night. This place!!!!!

Cas: It is quite impressive. And I’m glad you came.

Jenny: Me too!!! 

Jenny: So Dean was awkward af at dinner

Cas: I think he did his usual amount of ignoring what’s wrong with more grace than usual. I think it’s because he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.

Jenny: I wasn’t uncomfortable- I just wanted to shake the shit out of him on your behalf

Cas: lol

Jenny: I think Sam and I are going to stay up and “study some ancient runes” 

Jenny: by which I mean we’re going to make out like teenagers and play I’ll show you my anti-possession tattoo if you show me yours.

Cas: lol I am happy for the both of you <3

Jenny: [my tattoo is on my ass]

Cas: lmfao 

Jenny: You know what? You deserve happiness too, baby angel

Cas: Thank you for your help, Jenny. I have not had many friend in the millennia of my life, and I am glad to have found you.

Jenny: STOP or my mascara will run again! <3<3<3 ily

Jenny: Go get em tiger

 

_Wednesday 1:15am_

Cas: Dean? I know you’re tired of me apologizing, but I am sorry for earlier. I did not mean to be so aggressive, and I am sorry for it. I hope we can put this behind us.

…

…

Dean: Idk

…

Dean: I dont know if i want to get past this

Cas: How so?

Dean: I dont know Cas, I dont how to act or what to do

Cas: You don’t need to be any different than who you are already. You are perfect as you are, Dean.

Dean: that! That right there! You say stuff like that and i dont know how to 

Dean: What if Im not?

Cas: Not what?

Dean: Perfect

Dean: I fuck up all the time

Dean: I’m going to fuck this up

Dean: I fuck everything up

Cas: Dean

Dean: Yeah Cas?

Cas: I swear to you, on my Father, wherever He is, that if you have not fucked it up by now, it is not in the realm of possibility.

Dean: ?

Cas: I know you Dean. I have seen the mistakes you have made. I have seen the ugly parts of you, and I have seen the beauty of humanity through your eyes. I know every part of you, I put you together when you were so broken. I saw you soul in Hell and it called to me. In the darkness in the vast emptiness of Hell, it recognized my grace and called to me. I found you because it called to me. 

Cas: Dean,

Cas: You have managed to do everything in your power to push me away. But I am still here. I will always be here. Because your soul will always call to me. Even when i had no grace, I could hear it, and can ignore it no more than I can ignore my other involuntary bodily functions. Breathing. My heart beating in my chest. Being by Dean’s side. They are of the same importance to me.

…

Dean: i

Dean: I don’t know how to tell you Cas

Dean: I cant say it the way you do the words get tangled

Cas: Dean don’t worry. I know.

Dean: You do? 

Cas: You have already said the most important words I have ever heard in my very long life.

Dean: what did I say?

Cas: You need me. And I will take that in any way that you will allow. If I am to remain your hunting companion, I will be by your side until you retire and grow old. If you wish me to step back so you can have an “apple pie life,” I will do this for you. Again.

Cas: But if you want me

Cas: If you want me the way I want you 

Cas: I will do everything in my power make you understand what it is like to be worshiped. To feel what I feel when I think of us together. What I felt last night. I want to make you scream in ecstasy and to do that for you every day until the earth no longer spins on its axis.

…

Cas: Dean?

Dean: I swear to god you better get in here right the fuck now 

Cas: Yes, Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Jenny's dad was a hunter! I can get on board with that. I think her tattoo is a anti-possession tramp stamp. If I got one 10 years ago, it would have been there. Cause I'm classy.
> 
> *whispers* hey kids you want some smut?


	5. Bang Bang Bangity Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> porny porny smut smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's some smut fo' yo' ass. 
> 
> but it's like...romantical smut

Dean stared down at his phone, the blue light the only source of illumination in the room. His heart was pounding, and his hand tremored slightly as he waited for a response.

_Yes, Dean._

Dean’s stomach flipped and prickles of electricity danced across his scalp and down his arms. He stood, tossing his phone in the direction of his dresser and switching on the bedside lamp. Would Cas knock? Would he wait until Dean answered the door? Would he be clad in his familiar trench coat or-

Dean jolted as his door was smashed inward, slamming against the wall and bouncing back. Cas stood for a fraction of a second, giving Dean only a moment to process what he was seeing before the angel advanced on him, flicking a wrist to slam and lock the door behind him.

Cas was clad in only his pajama pants- _Dean’s_ pajama pants- and no shirt. His chest was smattered with thin silvery scars and his angel warding tattoo was peeking out of the waistband of his low-hung pants. Dean’s eyes swept up the taut sinewy lines of Cas’ body to his fiery blue eyes and shock of black hair. 

Dean had no chance to even raise his hands when he was swept to the wall with a tanned arm crossing his shoulders. Cas crowded him, chest to chest, their warm bare skin making contact and causing Dean to shudder. He thought back to the alley when Cas pushed him into a wall much the same way; Cas’ admission that he gave up _everything_ for Dean. 

Cas tilted his head back as his chin jutted out slightly, his lips only inches from Dean’s. He looked down his nose at him with something akin to fierce determination and undisguised lust. Dean sucked in a shaky breath, his cock already hard in his own pajama pants. His hips jerked forward, automatically seeking friction, and getting none. Cas seemed to push impossibly closer, angling his hips away, his left arm still holding Dean across his shoulders and chest, pinning him to the wall. All Dean could do was cling to Cas’ shoulders desperately, vision flicking back up to Cas’ eyes and down to his lips.

“Hello, Dean.”

They were panting hot breaths against each other’s mouths, chests heaving in unison. Cas moved forward a fraction, and stilled again, his eyes seeming to cut right through Dean. Dean waited for Cas to lunge forward, but he remained motionless. After what seemed like an eternity, the angel finally moved, aimed not for Dean’s lips, but for his ear, his lip grazing the shell so lightly, causing electricity to explode from the contact down to Dean’s groin.

“If this is what you want, Dean, tell me now,” he growled lowly, “because once I start, it would break me to stop. I have been waiting for you for so long, and if you tell me to leave, I will go- and I will stop waiting if that is what you desire. But tell me now, because it will be my ruin to have you only to lose you again.”

Dean felt a flood of indescribable relief roll through his body like liquid, and he felt a vice release his very core; a squeeze that had been there longer than he could remember. He couldn’t think of wanting anything more in his life than how he wanted Cas in that moment. He wanted to be consumed, to be absorbed, as if by osmosis, by Cas- he needed Cas as close as he could have him. He needed Cas inside him.

“Cas,” Dean said roughly, “I need you to fuck me.”

Dean had less than a second to see how quickly Cas’ pupils dilated before he closed the distance, crashing their lips together, Dean moving his hands to Cas’ waist and pulling him flush, chest to knee. Someone moaned, it could have been Dean, but the sound was lost in a litany of gasps and tongues and lips finding purchase. Cas released Dean and cupped his face, angling it to slot their lips together, his tongue tentatively touching Dean’s lower lip, asking for permission. Dean parted his lips with a groan- causing Cas to rut forward, shifting their trapped cocks to line up with one another, a wet patch growing in the front of Dean’s pajamas. 

Cas’ right hand slid to the back of Dean’s head, his fingers threading through short hair, tugging his head back roughly. Dean gasped again as Cas licked a stripe from his jaw to the back of his ear possessively, then sucking on his lobe. Cas quickly shifted his hands to Dean’s shoulders when Dean’s knees gave out, holding him in place and grinding his hips down. Dean was on the verge of coming in his pants like a teenager just from dry-humping when Cas moved his hips away. Dean humped the air involuntarily, seeking friction again, as Cas peppered kisses down his collarbone to his nipples. Cas planted his left hand on Dean’s sternum, fingers splayed, holding him firmly in place, while the other hand was gripping in the exact spot where the handprint had been. Dean could feel the burn and itch of it like a missing limb, and for the millionth time wished Cas hadn’t removed the scar when he healed him in Stull Cemetery. 

Cas was working over one of Dean’s nipples with his tongue, pausing only to nip it, then moving on to the other. Cas pulled back slightly to catch Dean’s eyes. They were a shocking illuminated blue, his grace pulling at something in Dean’s chest. Dean returned his gaze and panted and groaned as Cas slowly slid to his knees, letting go of Dean’s arm with a sigh, and pulling Dean’s pajama pants to his ankles. Dean’s hands found Cas’ shoulders again, and he stood, mouth agape as he watched Cas position himself with his lips hovering at the leaking tip of Dean’s cock, parted, huffing warm breaths across the head, ready. Dean gave a slight nod mumbling, “God yes,” as Cas leaned in and ran his tongue up the underside, pausing at the tip, just to let Dean see his cock resting on Cas’ lengthy tongue. Cas rolled his head side to side slightly, his tastebuds teasing the frenulum and coming up to swipe off the precum beaded there. Dean had to breath deeply to keep from coming right then, helplessly whining and clutching at Cas’ left arm which was still pressed to his sternum, the only thing keeping him upright. 

The hot, wet heat of Cas’ mouth enveloped Dean’s cock slowly, much too slowly, and Dean was both glad and frustrated for Cas’ hand holding him, preventing him from bucking into his mouth. Cas’ free hand was cupping Dean’s balls, pulling them slightly away from his body. Dean could feel every inch of Cas’ mouth as he sucked slowly onto Dean. The plushness of his lips, the texture of the roof of his mouth and the roughness of his tastebuds, and finally, the soft barrier of the back of his throat. There Cas stopped and _swallowed,_ causing Dean to cry out his name and grab at his hair, weaving fingers into the wild mane and hold on for dear life.

 

Dean felt Cas reach back behind his balls with one questioning finger, so he parted his legs wider for easier access. Cas hummed in approval as he pulled back, increasing suction and popping off to lip and lick at the glans while he applied pressure in different spots of Dean’s perineum with his finger. Dean could hear the sounds coming from him involuntarily, each for a different sensation pulled from him be Cas’ hand and mouth. He was coming undone and he had only been in Cas’ mouth once. 

As if on cue, Cas sank his kiss-reddened lips over Dean’s cock again, bobbing up and down slowly, too much and too little at the same time. Cas’ finger found it’s final destination and gently applied pressure, causing Dean to cry out again. The pleasure shot upward through Dean, so intense that he pushed back. Cas didn’t breach him, just simply pressed and rubbed small circles, relaxing the muscle as Dean writhed against the wall. Dean wildly wondered if it would all be over before he had even gotten to see what Cas had in his pants.

Cas opened his eyes and looked up at Dean through his eyelashes. Dean had never seen anything so beautiful as his blazing blue orbs and his red lips stretched around Dean’s cock. 

Cas pulled off with another obscene pop and stood slowly, releasing Dean and untying and dropping his own pants. He stood far back enough for Dean to get a good look. They stood facing each other, chests heaving, as Dean let his eyes roam over Cas as they had so many times before, wondering what exactly Cas had under the trench coat. Cas’ cock stood out curving from his body upward, flushed and throbbing, the tip glistening and starting to dribble. 

Dean reached out a shaky hand and rest it on Cas’ hip bone, his thumb pressing and circling over his tattoo, before pulling him in roughly into another kiss, more uncoordinated and sloppy than before. Dean took them both in hand as their cocks collided, stroking them together, palming the tips to spread the precome, mixing it with the combined sweat of their bodies, thrusting them through the tight channel he made with his fist. Cas moaned as he fucked Dean’s hand, sucking on Dean’s tongue. 

Cas stilled and pulled back a few inches to address Dean, lips again hovering. 

“Dean I need-”

“More,” Dean finished, “I know, me too. I want you inside me.”

Cas growled and pushed Dean to the bed, knocking him onto his back and descending on his cock once again, getting in a few sucks before reaching over to the side table drawer to rummage for lube. His fingers found the prize and he held up the large bottle triumphantly, causing Dean’s heart to swell as he looked at the happiest Cas he’d ever seen.

_I did that. I made him that happy._

Cas coaxed Dean to move to the center of the bed on his back to prepare him. He took a rolled pillow and positioned it under his hips. Dean watched with amusement at the seriousness in Cas’ actions. They were almost reverent, gentle but firm, running his fingers up and down Dean’s thighs. Dean was splayed out, exposed, but didn’t shy away; Cas had already seen every part of him and still wanted him. Wanted to be with him. Like this. Dean shivered at the light touches.

Cas popped open the cap on the lube, spreading some on his fingers, feeling the consistency and warming it slightly. It was still cool when he ran a finger up the cleft of Dean’s ass, resting at his entrance, applying gentle pressure. He was positioned between Dean’s thighs, and he spread them until the only contact between them was his lone finger and the most sensitive place on Dean. It was unnervingly erotic.

“I am always astounded at the trust you place in me, Dean,” Cas breathed out, no louder than a whisper, “to let me touch you this way, you have no idea what it does to me.”

Dean smirked and nodded to Cas’ straining erection. “I can see some of what it does to you.”

Cas’ smile turned predatory, and Dean suddenly remembered that although Cas was largely human now, he was still an ancient and holy creature, one who had witnessed the dawn of civilization. Dean shivered at the thought, then relaxed, allowing Cas to slip one finger in. Dean clinched immediately, gripping Cas’ digit as he froze and closed his eyes. Dean watched Cas struggle with something, his hand ghosting over the head of his own cock, resisting a touch. 

“Dean,” He ground out, “so hot, so tight, I- I…”

“Cas,” Dean breathed, relaxing his muscles again and allowing Cas to slip further in. Cas finally crawled forward, lowering himself to touch the backs of Dean’s spread thighs with his hips, pushing his fingertip in and out of Dean. Cas was propping himself up with his hand, and as Dean moaned and shuddered at the odd feeling of being penetrated (which was building into pleasure), he watched Cas’ arm tremble. Dean could see Cas’ cock, dripping down onto Dean and his mouth watered. 

“Cas,” he asked shyly, “can I try something?”

Cas smiled softly and dipped down to kiss Dean again, pausing his finger’s exploring to deepen the kiss, moaning into Dean’s mouth as Dean reached between his own legs and awkwardly further to brush his fingertips over Cas cock. Cas’ finger leapt forward at the contact, thrusting into Dean and brushing over something that made him arch his back and cry out in pleasure. 

“Sorry, Dean,” Cas said, starting to withdraw his finger. Dean reached between them and grabbed Cas’ hand, forcing his finger in again. Cas’ eyes darkened and he began pumping in and out with vigor, kissing Dean breathless. 

“I want to,” Dean said between kisses, “I want you,” kiss, “in my mouth.”

Cas pulled back, “Whatever you want, Dean.”

Dean looked sheepishly up at him, “can we do a, you know, 69 position?”

Cas tilted his head in that familiar way, causing Dean’s cock to throb and his hole to clench around Cas’ finger.

“You will have to show me, is that alright?”

Dean had always imagined that he would be the one to teach Cas how to fuck, so he smiled brightly and sat up, letting Cas’ finger slip from him. He felt strangely empty as he slid further down the bed and repositioned Cas so they were laying on their sides with their faces lined up with the other’s groin. Dean looked at Cas in fascination, the strong smell of him radiating off of his cock. It was green leaves and ozone and musk, and Dean’s mouth watered and he felt the impulse to _lick._ Cas moaned and clutched at Dean’s thighs when a wet tongue traveled around his balls and along the shaft to the head of his cock, swirling around and sucking on. Dean wasn’t in the mood to tease, seeing as this was the first dick he’d ever had in his mouth, he wanted to get down to business. Cas swore in what could only be Enochian, and Dean felt the finger again, pressing until entrance was granted. Dean felt Cas’ mouth on him again. 

The distraction of being sucked while trying to suck kept their rhythm sporadic enough to keep them from coming too soon. Cas easily worked another finger into Dean, his mouth becoming sloppy as Dean sucked hard on him as he was penetrated and stretched. Dean like the feeling of being _filled,_ he felt as if a missing piece of him was being put back into its rightful place. 

Cas pulled and stretched at Dean’s rim, pulling off Dean’s cock and letting it smack his cheek wetly. Dean spasmed away when he felt a wet tongue lap at his stretched, puckered hole, but then pushed back onto Cas’ now three fingers pumping in and out of him; relishing the unpredictable licks and prodding of Cas’ tongue. 

 

Dean was shaking, barely able to keep thrusting his mouth onto Cas’ cock again and again. He wrapped his arms around Cas’ pelvis and pushed him into his mouth, encouraging him to fuck his face. Dean couldn’t even feel his gag reflex as the pleasure was so focused on the magic Cas was working on his hole. Cas’ breathing was ragged, and in a silent agreement, they both pulled off and clumsily moved back into position with Cas suspended over Dean’s flushed and sweaty body. 

Cas added more lube to his already spit-slick cock and lined himself up, guiding himself with a hand, nudging against Dean’s fluttering hole. He trained his eyes back on Dean’s. They were nearly black with lust, and glimmering with something else, something tender, and Dean held his breath, trembling in anticipation. 

With one confident movement, Cas pushed until the crown of his cock pushed through the ring of muscle. He slowed down, gauging Dean’s face and biting his lip bloody in concentration.

“So tight, oh fuck, Dean,” he grunted out in effort, “you feel so good, so good.”

Dean pushed back, welcoming the intrusion, not even thinking of the implications of craving being penetrated, taken, fucked, by the angel above him. He felt unbelievably full. It was just this side of uncomfortable, even three fingers were no substitute for the girth of Cas; Dean felt a burn and stretch as Cas continued to push until his hips were flush with Dean’s thighs. 

Cas held still, allowing Dean to adjust to the feeling, and presumably to keep from coming as well; the look of fierce concentration on his face was enough to make Dean smile up at him. Cas caught his eyes and broke into a grin too, his eyes merry as they smiled stupidly at each other. Dean could feel impending hysterical laughter attempting to make it’s escape, but then Cas pulled out slowly, causing Dean’s eyes to roll back in his head. His cock that had softened a bit while being pushed into by Cas, sprang back to life almost painfully. Cas took no pause, but snapped his hips sharply, thrusting back into Dean. Any discomfort was swallowed by pleasure as Cas set up a quick rhythm, their skin slapping on contact. Cas leaned in and placed Dean’s knees over his shoulders, nearly bending him in half. He continued to pound, the sweat pouring off his chest, and all Dean could do was reach behind him and hold onto the headboard for dear life. 

Cas was tilting Dean’s pelvis this way and that, and Dean was tempted to ask what he was doing, when the crown of Cas’ cock rubbed across his prostate with just the right amount of pressure, causing Dean to scream silently and bow his back. With a satisfied smirk, Cas pounded the same spot over and over, a brutal pace, pooling a scorching coil of heat in Dean’s belly. His cock was dribbling precome on his chest, and he let go of the head board to swipe fingers through it and slick up his bouncing neglected cock. Cas saw what he was doing and slapped his hand away, replacing it with his own, deft fingers applying gentle pressure, twisting at the tip as he stroked. Only three times and Dean exploded; come shooting up to his chin. The world whited out and went silent for a brief moment, and Dean was suspended in a void of ecstasy he had never dreamed of experiencing. He only distantly heard Cas moan out a litany of “DeanDeanDeanDean…” before he shuddered and Dean felt impossibly hot come fill him. He clenched down on Cas’ dick, purposefully milking every drop from him, wildly wanting to hold it all inside of him and never let it spill from between his thighs. 

When his hole finally stopped spasming around Cas’ equally spasming cock, Cas released Dean’s legs and wound them around his waist, flattening Cas down into the mess on his chest and burying his face into Cas’ sweat- drenched neck and panting along with him. Dean’s eyes were screwed shut, trying to wrap his endorphin-riddled mind around what had just happened. He held tighter, wordlessly telling Cas to hold him and never let go. 

Eventually their breathing regulated, Cas’ cock softened and began to slip from Dean, and the come on his chest grew sticky.

“Dean,” sighed Cas, “it’s okay, I am not going anywhere. I am here. I am right here, I won’t ever leave you, never again.”

Dean felt a tear escape his eye and trail down to his ear, dripping from his earlobe, to the pillow below. Cas just continued his reassurance against his ear, soothing the fear welling up in his chest, tampering the doubt down, holding his demons at bay. He never wanted to be anywhere but where they were right then.

“Eventually we will have to move, Dean,” huffed Cas in a gentle laugh.

Dean loosened his grip and allowed Cas to pull back and look into his eyes. They were back to more blue than black, and his lips turned slightly at the corners, his very best smile, if you knew where to look. And Dean always saw it. And it had always been reserved for Dean. 

Cas wiped at Dean’s tears with his thumbs and coaxed him to sit up so Cas could clean him with his discarded pajama pants. He manhandled Dean’s lax body to get the covers down and them both tucked in, his arms encircling Dean, holding him close. Dean sighed contentedly and snuggled down further into Cas, feeling the light kisses brushing the back of his neck as he drifted into a deep sated sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Dean isn't insecure about his sexuality as much as he is about being abandoned by Cas. Pretty sure that's real life.


	6. Twice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adorbs li' ending-pie <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are awesome. Seriously. So awesome. This was my fist shot at writing an original character, and I got really positive feedback <3
> 
> Because Sammy deserves love. And I'm gonna be pissed if it's that British WOL who kicks his ass. 
> 
> I'm just saying.
> 
> Although Cas and Dean have beat each other up, like A LOT, I don't think it's the basis for a healthy relationship. 
> 
> But dirty dirty sex is a good basis for a healthy relationship.

_Wednesday 2:30pm_

Jenny: Hey you up

…

Jenny: Cas

Jenny: Caaaaaaaaaassssssssss

 

_Wednesday 3:17pm_

Cas: Apologies, Jenny, I was otherwise engaged.

Jenny: Sounds kinky… Dean with you ;)

Cas: He is currently engaged. With felliatio. 

Jenny: WTFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!

Jenny: You being funny? 

Cas: lol I hope so- I am just kidding. 

Cas: Dean finished about 20 minutes ago.

Jenny: !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jenny: You and Dean

Jenny: did the deed

Cas: If you are referring to sexual intercourse, then yes. It was quite enjoyable.

Jenny: THIS IS EARTH SHATTERING!!!!!!!!!

Jenny: I HAVE TO TELL SOMEONE

Cas: Don’t tell Sam! 

Jenny: ?

Cas: Give Dean a chance to tell his brother.

Jenny: um

Cas: Jenny…

Jenny: …

Cas: What did you do

Jenny: I may have 

Jenny: accidentally yelled it at the top of my lungs. 

Cas: And Sam is with you? Are you still in the bunker? 

Jenny: Maybe ;)

Cas: Interesting…

…

Cas: Dots, Jenny. 

Jenny: Lol sorry

Jenny: Sam had found a box in the archives with rare Japanese jade charms and time got away from us

Jenny: They’re beautiful but probably cursed. Nevermind that

Jenny: Dean!!!

Cas: Jenny, I am very happy. Dean said he’s “all in” and I do believe that is a firm commitment in his eyes. And then I was “all in” if you know what I mean ;)

Cas: Twice.

Jenny: OH MY GOD!!!!!! 

Jenny: Cas, I am so happy I met you- I don’t really believe in destiny, I’m more of a free will kinda girl- but it’s times like these that I wonder if the stars don’t just line up 

Jenny: And I meet you and then Sam

Jenny: And then you defile that good-looking bow-legged midwestern boy

Cas: lol and angels are watching over us? 

Jenny: Honey, you are nailing this humor thing. I couldn’t be more proud of you- my boy’s all grown up. *sniff*

Cas: I feel that meeting you was very fortuitous. If it were not for you, I may not have found the courage to reveal my true feelings to Dean. 

Jenny: My mascara is history, so Imma cry now XD

Cas: lol 

 

Sam: Dean

Dean: yeah Sammy

Sam: So…

Sam: you and Cas…

Dean: yeah Sammy

Sam: So…

…

Sam: …

Dean: dude what

Sam: …

Dean: yeah ok I like love him and want to marry him and have his babies? Is that what you wanted to hear?

Sam: :D

Dean: shut your face hole you smug bastard

Sam: whatever, you love him

Dean: bitch

Sam: jerk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yowza yowza hubba hubba 
> 
> See ya next time folks! 
> 
> If you have any fun ideas for one-shots and want me to write em, lemme know ;)

**Author's Note:**

> ;)


End file.
